Online Dating – Getting to Know You – Getting to Know All About You

By Mark Creighton Feb 23, 2024
Online Dating

The first thing you should do when using an online dating web site is to read through their terms and conditions of use as well as any hints, rules or safety tips they list. Many of these dating web sites have very good instructions that will enhance your online dating experience.

If you’ve decided to become a paying member of a dating site, you can start contacting other users if their profile appeals to you. These messages don’t have to very elaborate, since you’ve already put a lot of information into your profile. Something along the lines of, “Hey, I saw your profile and it seems like we have some common interests. Take a look at my profile, and if you’re interested, send me a message,” is probably sufficient. You may decide to contact one person at a time and wait for a response or you may contact several at once—it is up to each user.

From there, you simply wait. Some people will write back to let you know they’re not interested, while others will simply ignore your message. In some cases, the person you wrote to might not be visiting the site anymore. But a few of your contacts will eventually respond, and other people will start contacting after they see your profile. How long it takes depends on the site and the individual user. Reports from dating-site users range from those who say it takes 500 contacts to get one date to another who said they had two dates almost immediately and are still dating one of them.

Before long, you’ll have e-mailed back and forth with someone you’re interested in meeting face to face. Take your time to try to get to know the person online first. Everyone can put their best cyber-foot forward in the first couple of e-mails. Being consistent is tougher. Make sure you keep the old e-mails to compare the information they give you. In one e-mail, they might tell you they work construction, in another that they are a student—be sure you check out these inconsistencies. They could be taking night classes, or they could just as easily be lying.

Do not be rushed, and do not rush the other person. Let the relationship develop online until you are comfortable with each other—take your time. Ask your friends—sometimes they are not blinded by the same rose-colored glasses you might be. What you considered cute might ring differently to them. This may seem like dating by committee, but it helps you keep perspective.

Do not believe everything you read online. You can be anything or anyone you want to be online. That cute brunette 24-year-old guy may not be good-looking, may not be 24 and most importantly, may not be a guy. There is not “truth in advertising” protection when you date online.

Do not give out personal information online. Personal information that would let someone find you offline should never be shared online. Your full name, where you work, where you live, your phone number and your fax number should not be shared online

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By Mark Creighton

Mark Creighton is a seasoned relationship specialist and expert with a rich background in psychology and counseling. He earned his Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), and went on to complete his Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Southern California (USC). Mark’s passion for understanding human behavior and relationships led him to pursue further education, and he holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Stanford University.

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