When it is Time to Stop an Online Relationship

By Mark Creighton Feb 23, 2024
Online Relationship

Remember that it is not the end of the world if a date does not work out. There are lots of other opportunities to meet people online that you may be more compatible with, and now lots of new potential dates are easier to find using Internet dating services. It’s time to bail out of online dating with a person under any one of these conditions:

  1. 1.When the other person tries to force intimacy or to move things along too fast. That’s a disaster waiting to happen, and that means it’s time to exit, and fast. Real love develops naturally over time, as mutual respect and mutual trust develop.
  2. After you’ve chatted for what seems like a respectable amount of time—clearly you feel it’s time to proceed to a phone call. They don’t. If they are only content to chat online and not on the phone, they’re probably not for real. The extent of their involvement with you will likely always be limited to what they’re able to get away with from their home or office computer.
  3. When you see a RED FLAG, and can’t get any explanation, or the explanation you get doesn’t make sense. Consider they may be married! They are overly flirtatious, flattering and seem to demand a great deal of attention. They have incredibly “hot” handles. The things they will do in chat rooms are, at times, shocking. But they will never meet you. Ask them point blank if they are married. Invest in a background check. You’ll find out a lot about them, but most importantly, you’ll find out if they’re married or whether or not they’ve actually ever filed for that divorce they keep promising you is pending. That’s public record stuff. Consider they may be a minor! Nothing strikes fear in most people faster than finding out you’ve just engaged in a little “harmless cyber” with a minor. Ask yourself this question: Did it seem that at times, they couldn’t think of just the right way to say something suggestive? Were they almost crude in their references to anatomy? Were there constant misspellings? Then ask yourself something else? Would an experienced adult have known the things that this person seemed clueless about? Minors just don’t have a lot of sexual experiences in real life–they can’t effectively relate online what they have no real experience with. So they guess. They make it up as they go along. If this has happened, or you think it’s about to. BAIL! Get away from that person.
  4. When you’re told just one lie. Liars, con artists, adulterers and other seamy, sleazy types are very good at explaining away their lies, but any lie is a breach of trust.
  5. When the other person talks about vague complications involving ex-spouses or ex-lovers, because it’s very likely true that the supposed “ex” hasn’t quite exited.
  6. Whenever the other person asks you for money in any form, and that includes asking you to “send airline tickets” or to “put something on your credit card” or to call you collect. When your love claims to be “very behind in the bills” or “having a long run of bad luck”. A person can be very nice and very sincere, but unable to pay a fair share in the relationship. At best, that’s one-sided. It’s more likely, though, that such a person is an Internet love bandit.
  7. When the other person has twice failed to show up for a real world meeting, or has cancelled at the last minute, no matter what the excuse. Someone who is that busy or whose life is that complicated is either a liar or is making the relationship a very low priority. You can do better. Move on.
  8. When the other person makes demands on you that don’t seem reasonable.
  9. When your real world friends or family advise you to bail out. You may not like what they have to say, but they are emotionally removed from the situation and have a clear view. Heed them
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By Mark Creighton

Mark Creighton is a seasoned relationship specialist and expert with a rich background in psychology and counseling. He earned his Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), and went on to complete his Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Southern California (USC). Mark’s passion for understanding human behavior and relationships led him to pursue further education, and he holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Stanford University.

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